RileyGate
Stunning New Allegations Against Middle School Teacher and Soccer Mom
The "We Love Oil-Drill, Baby, Drill Press" has come across some disturbing information about a woman who has been given the charge of teaching our children and perhaps, more disturbingly, she has procreated and is raising two children of her own. An anonymous source from Bumscrew, Egypt has reportedly hacked into her various e-mail accounts and discovered that she is far from the intelligent, loving, moral and ethical community leader that many once thought.
This anonymous source has leaked this information just in time for Mrs. Riley's employee review that would result in her receiving her longevity pay. "Thank the good Lord above," a parent said on agreement that her name not be used, "we could've been rewarding this monster. We have now saved our children and hers from a certain fate of hedonism and sin of the likes that have never been seen before."
What is in these e-mails that has raised everyone's cockles? The anonymous hacker said that out of hundreds of e-mails that span several years, he was able to pull out certain sentences, data, and review her contact lists and was able to come to the following conclusion that is given in part below.
"Mrs. Riley has many idols that she worships before God. There are numerous correspondences with entities such as Amazon, Target, and Discovery Store-especially worrisome given all the obvious falsified science given on the site as well as the promotion of scientific inquiry in our impressionable young. Mrs. Riley also apparently has a drug problem as she receives several drug deals from someone who is only known by the initials CVS. This CVS person is constantly promising her better deals on drugs. It is obvious from these communications that her addiction to Children's Tylenol is out of control. Mrs. Riley should also be reported to the proper authorities concerning the safety of her own children. One glaring e-mail that showed her total neglect for her own children asked of her own mother, 'can you get the kids today?' She can't even be responsible enough to pick up her own children. Shameful. Disgraceful. Furthermore, it was uncovered in these e-mails that she recently sent her four year old daughter to school with no socks! Oh, the humanity! It is further concerning that in her personal e-mails with colleagues and friends that she is associated with several people who support liberals. This may be the most disturbing of all. She is shamelessly corresponding with socialists, marxists, and leninists. She agrees with these radical left wingers that our healthcare system is in desperate need of repair and is in full support of Obama becoming a dictator of our beloved country. Also discovered in these e-mails were videos that mocked our most sacred holiday, the birth of our Savior, Christmas. In these videos, friends' faces were spliced onto the bodies of elves who dance and sing various Christmas songs in a most provocative way. Finally, it should be noted that in her Spam folder, we found many links to many pornographic sites of which the perversity of each one is unspeakable. By accepting these e-mails into her Spam folder, it is obvious she supports the lifestyles of these perverts. In addition, e-mails from Mrs. Riley's professional account, were obtained by the hacker from Bumscrew. These e-mails are known to contain confidential information about students including such things as their possible Special Needs, grades, and home addresses. According to the anonymous source, this isn't illegal because if it can be hacked, it's free for anyone to read and altered. Some of these e-mails were between Mrs. Riley and her substitute teacher, a former German teacher obviously placed in her classroom to indoctrinate the children in the ideals of Nazi Germany, discussed how best to assign points on a particular assignment with statements such as should each question be two points each or three points each? These two educators were playing fast and loose with some serious numbers. One distraught parent, who only agreed to give a statement if granted anonymity, had the following to say about her child, 'Now I don't know if the grade is a 98 or a 97. How are we supposed to live like this? Please, parents, open your eyes to this hoax of a teacher and remove her from the classroom.' This parent then dissolved into tears unable to be comforted and who can blame them when such shocking discussions are uncovered between her and her peers."
Repeated attempts to access the full texts of these e-mails have gone unanswered. This reporter's anonymous source will only say that their anonymous source is credible. The public is in an uproar and demanding her immediate firing and subsequent jailing in the strictest security prison where she will receive the punishment she deserves from her fellow prisoners. They feel her punishment should be to the fullest extent of the law for such ludicrous communications and intellectual discussions even suggesting that life without parole may be too light of a sentence.
When the anonymous source gets back in contact with this reporter's anonymous source, the story will be updated as quickly as possible.
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