I read this on www.menieres.org and found it very moving. Unfortunately, I do not know the name of the person who wrote it. He only gives his forum name which is WifesOnFloor. He titled his thread simply: Angelea
Why are you on the floor vomiting? Is this a hangover?
What is the cause of this?
You have what? I think your ears are beautiful; you don’t have man-ears…
Oh, Meniere’s, what is that? A disease? No? A syndrome? A collection of God-awful symptoms? Why are you like this?
I see…nobody knows.
Ok, so it’s a fluid build-up...or wait, it’s a virus is it? OK, no, it’s a kink in your neck? No? Yes?
I see, nobody knows.
The kids want to know why you are on the floor again. I told them about your man-ears. I’m kidding, I love your ears. I married you for your ears. I married you for your eyes. I married you for all of you, till death do us part.
I will hold the bucket with one hand and the back of your head with the other as you retch through the night. I will wait with you until the room stops spinning long enough to half-carry you to the restroom so you can finally relieve yourself. I will bring you anything you need in your state of paralysis, till death do us part.
Low-salt? Check. Diuretics? Check. Lysine? Check. Acyclovir? Check. NUCCA? Check. Dexamethasone? Check. Gentamicin? Check.
Why are you on the floor? Why are you vomiting?
I married you for your ears, till death do us part.
This brought tears to my eyes because I imagine my husband has similar thoughts. He never really says anything but he was there for me through many of my bad vertigo attacks in the beginning. Back before we were even married and he could've very easily walked away.
To the author of this-sorry that I can't give you your proper credit. If you ever stumble upon this blog and would be willing to give me your name, I would love to credit you for this beautiful work. And thank you for being there for her. It isn't easy for our better halves either and it's important for us to remember that.
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Sharing illness associated losses with a spouse, or significant other, is the gentlest way of living with those losses.
ReplyDeleteFor years my role was that of the caregiver for my late wife, who died at the age of 42 from metastatic leiomyosarcoma, and my son, who died at the age of 17 from complications related to his Duchene’s muscular dystrophy.
In my experience as a caregiver both at home and at work, neither the healthcare system nor society - even family and friends - recognizes or supports the caregiver. Illness is an experience shared by a couple, each in his or her own way, but one no less than the other.
Bless both Angelea’s spouse and your husband for being there!
Denis-
ReplyDeleteYou are an inspiration to us all. God bless you for all you did for your wife and son.